


Moment

by NotEvenCloseToStraight



Series: Short Stories! [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fake Character Death, Gaurdians of the Galaxy - Freeform, Heartbreak, Infinity War, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Past Stony, Post CACW, Tony is done, but not really, serious angst, starlord - Freeform, trigger - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 10:10:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11461416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotEvenCloseToStraight/pseuds/NotEvenCloseToStraight
Summary: Tumblr Prompt-- Tony fakes his death, breaking Steves heart, and comes back to help in Inifnity War**************TRIGGER WARNINGS--- Character Death, but not really. The first part is just difficult to read, so be careful!





	Moment

Tony couldn't pinpoint the moment he decided to die.

It was definitely sometime after Ultron though.

Sometime after that horrible AI had tried to take over everything, sometime after he and Thor literally put their lives on the line to try and save Sokovia and consequently the world. It was sometime after Pietro had died and Wanda had come home with them, broken and hurting and only a shell of herself after losing her brother. Sometime after JARVIS had...had... _gone_ , and Vision had appeared.

And sometime after Steve had kissed him.

It hadn't been a big deal, that first kiss--or at least it hadn't started as a big deal.

Sometime post-Ultron and Steve had stormed into the lab and shoved Tony up against a wall and snapped that sometimes Tony made him “so angry” and that the resulting fallout from Sokovia was going to “change the entire world and not for the better” and that maybe the next time Tony “created a goddamn experiment” he could make sure it didn't have a will of it's own.

And then Steve had wrapped his arms around Tony and whispered that maybe next time Tony could “sit aside and let someone Steve didn't care about so much offer his life in exchange for civilians”. And maybe next time Tony could be “a little less reckless”. And maybe next time Tony could---

But Steve hadn't finished that sentence, because he had just kissed Tony instead. Just a short one- firm and no nonsense, just like the man himself.

Then he had made this soft desperate sound and dragged one hand through Tony's hair and tilted his head back and kissed him again--and this time Tony's knees were weak before they finally parted.

That had been the first kiss. And there had been lots more over the next ten months or so, of varying degrees of passion, and one amazing night there had been more than kissing, and Tony had been able to wake up to Steve still in his bed, looking down at him with something incredible in those dark blue eyes, and for maybe _fifteen fucking seconds_ , Tony had forgotten how awful everything up to this point had been and for maybe _fifteen fucking seconds_ , Tony had been happy.

But then, the Accords and the Winter Soldier, and the airport battle and Zemo and Siberia and the surgery to repair his chest and---

Actually, you know what? Tony could pinpoint _exactly_ the moment he decided to die.

It was four months after Siberia when the doctors told him that it would take an implant to repair his sternum, and that his heart would never be the same and he would need a pace maker, and _oh_! Since he already had designed and perfected the arc reactor, and his body had already adjusted to it once, a new arc reactor would accomplish all of those things for him, so lets just put it right back in shall we?

It was four months after Siberia when he was apologizing for the hundredth and twelfth time (he had been counting) in another press conference.

They only ever asked two questions at these things--- could the world survive with rogue vigilantes like the criminal Avengers on the loose? And could the world survive _without_ the Avengers?

Tony had smiled and shrugged and calmly told the reporter the same thing he told them all-- “We have people to protect us, people that operate inside the law, heroes that have been here all along and now are finally getting a chance to step up. And I, as Iron Man, will always keep working to keep the world safe.”

And this reporter, like all the others, had scoffed and pointed out that _ahem_ \-- wasn't Tony in a compromised physical state? Wasn't the Iron Man under investigation after apparently letting Captain Rogers and the Assassin known as the Winter Soldier go? Was Iron Man anything without the rest of the team? Wasn't Sokovia basically Tony Starks fault anyway?

And usually-- _usually_ \-- Tony could fire back with some smart comment, call on one of his suits for a flashy display...something.

But for a minute, there was dead silence in the room, because Tony Stark didn't have anything to say to that. For the first time since the “Stark Industries is no longer making weapons” debacle of a press conference, Tony didn't _know_ what to say, his usual pithy remarks lost as his mind skidded to a stop.

He didn't even know he had reached up and rubbed over his chest uuncomfortably, didn't even realize that everyone was staring at him.

Because it was at that moment, four months after Siberia, that Tony Stark decided to die.

*********************

It was easy enough, his plan.

Recovering from that awkward, silent moment in that press conference, Tony had sent the reporter a smile and announced that he was working on a new suit, rambled off some letter and number to make it sound official and proudly told the assembled press that thanks to this new suit, Iron Man would be better than ever, and more than enough to protect their city and their country, and that as soon as his prototype was finished he would be sharing his plans with the air force and helping them build suits of their own.

Everyone had applauded and Tony had grinned and thrown up peace signs and jogged out of the room and into the waiting limo.

A couple weeks later he brought up the suit again, talking excitedly about the new features.

And then later at a charity event when a general approached him, Tony had invited him and his colleagues out to the compound at the end of next month to view the initial test flight.

Videos were “leaked” onto the internet, a flashy new Iron Man suit in a bold black and gold, doing seemingly impossible maneuvers. New weapons that made his previous ones look like childs play things. New and improved _non lethal weapons_ because Tony Stark wanted peace, not war and death.

And then when the end of the month came, Tony had everyone who wanted to come out to the compound. Every news station. Several high ranking generals. Colonel James Rhodes, who was still wheelchair bound most days, six months after his accident.  Delegates from the UN, specifically those from Eastern Europe and the Middle East who were both intrigued and terrified by the idea of a more powerful Iron Man.

And Tony greeted them all, waving excitedly as he stepped into the Iron Man suit, waited for FRIDAY to come online before reciting a nice, patriotic, world peace friendly speech he had written days before.

Delivered in the deep, flat voice of the Iron Man suit, it was impressive, awe inspiring in fact, and everyone cheered when the suit powered up and Tony took off into the sky.

Everyone cheered when the suit flew away some distance, then came roaring back, a sonic boom splitting the air behind it. He flew low to the ground, hovering only inches above the grass and _man_ they cheered for that.

And then Tony called something about “seeing what this new suit could do” and took off for the sky, higher and higher and every one cheered louder and louder as he disappeared into the clouds.

Then they all screamed when an explosion ripped through the sky and the suit was ripped into pieces right in front of their eyes.

********************

It took them days to gather all the scraps.

 _Days_.

The nation, the _world_ , watched in horror as each bit was retrieved. News anchors stammered through sentences when the camera panned over the larger pieces of the suit, pieces with dried blood caked on the inside.

A boot was found nearly intact.

The foot inside was nearly intact as well.

And the entire world mourned.

And buried in a compound that officially didn't exist, in a part of Wakanda that was officially not on the map, surrounded by a team that was officially wanted for war crimes----

\---Steve, who hadn't slept in the week since it had happened, who hadn't eaten at all, who had barely moved from his position in days, sat and watched the news with tears running down his face.

************

************

It was close to eight months later when the threat came.

Something about some rogue Titan from a world or dimension or whatever that no human had ever heard of. And really, most people didn't believe it either, until hell _literally_ started raining down on them.

Heroes were gathering--some goon squad called the Guardians of the Galaxy, the Prince of Wakanda and his shockingly lethal guards, a Doctor called Strange that could bend reality. And of course, the rogue Avengers, who had been hastily pardoned and welcomed back with open arms as soon as the world was in danger.

Tony watched it all on the television in his living room.

His little fishing cabin was nice, right here on the edge of the river. Peaceful.

It had been Peppers idea, years ago, to buy this place. Just a two bedroom shack about fifteen miles past nowhere. Nice and rustic, everything ran on a generator, the only way to get in was on with an off road vehicle or a plane.

She had told him, after Afghanistan, after Obie, after Iron Man, that he needed a place with no computers and no distractions. A place to unplug, as it were.

And he had agreed. After he had built a lab in the basement of course.

It wasn't as big as his one back home, not even close, but it had been simple to ship Dum-E and U out here, and it was big enough to work on his suit and some fun tech and keep an eye on everything as the world slowly and surely went to shit.

So Tony saw it all.

He saw how much older Steve looked with his beard when he stood in front of the UN in New York and spoke about how happy he was to be home. The Winter Soldier stood next to him, dressed all in blue, looking fierce as hell, and perhaps a little lost. Clint looked… ragged. Worn out. Natasha, who apparently never aged, but also couldn't find a good hairstylist was standing next to Sam Wilson, who looked pleased as punch to be back on American soil. Wanda and Vision were standing next to each other, close but not too close and Tony was surprised by how angry he was seeing them.

Not so much Wanda, even though she freaked him the hell out. But apparently Vision accidentally wounding Rhodey still bothered him.

Who knew?

Anyway.

Tony sat and watched as he worked on his suit some more.

Steve gave a nice heartfelt speech about how different the team felt without Iron Man on it, how different the _world_ was without Iron Man in it, and that must have been some good acting because Tony could see the tears tracking down the super-soldiers face.

And of course, after the heartfelt speech came the obligatory footage of his suit flying towards the sky and exploding. The screams and the metal falling from the sky and the explosion.

Tony rubbed a hand over his arc reactor, frowning at the weight in his chest.

No one had figured out that when he had shot away into the sky, over a mile away and came back with that impressive speed and the resulting sonic boom-- nobody had figured out that it wasn't the same suit.

It hadn't even taken much. Just a leftover drone he had painted to look alike. Pre recorded messages. A few packets of his blood type on the inside of the helmet. A really, very impressive prosthetic foot with enough of his own blood linking through the artificial veins to pass a dna test. The 'bone' had been grafted together from the chunks of his ribs and sternum the doctor had removed when replacing the arc reactor.

Everyone had been fooled.

And Tony had flown away in the other direction while everyone was more than distracted by the explosion, coming straight to this little cabin and trading Iron Man for anonymity, Armani suits for ragged jeans.

The only thing he didn't give up was his lab.

And here he sat, watching the news, watching the world coming to an end.

“Boss.” FRIDAY hardly ever spoke anymore, and he smiled a little.

“FRIDAY. Always nice to hear from you.”

“Perhaps it is time to suit up. Apparently the world can't function without ya.”

Tony sighed and looked around his little peaceful cabin. “This has been the best few months of my life. No stress, no drama. I don't want to give this up.”

“But the world needs you.”

“The world can suck it.” he grouched. “They are doing just fine.”

“ _Boss_.”

“Goddamnit.”

Tony shoved to his feet with a huff and opened the trap door that led to his lab. “I shouldnt have programmed you with a personality.”

“You canna program a woman, Boss.” FRIDAYS accent came through thick when she was irritated.

“Of course not, what was I thinking.”

*****************

Nobody noticed the _boom_ when Iron Man rocketed out of the tiny cabin and into the air.

Well, nobody except the newly married couple who were honeymooning several miles away.

“Did you see that shooting star!” The new bride exclaimed, and her husband lookd down at her fondly.

“Shooting stars _fall_ , darling. That was probably just a firecracker. Remember we passed that sweet sixteen party on the way in?”

“Fine.” she pouted. “But I'm going to make a wish anyway.” She closed her eyes and made a wish, opening her eyes only when her husband kissed her.

“And what did you wish for?” he encouraged.

“World peace.” she replied with a happy smile. “What else?”

“Well perhaps wishing on whatever that is _will_ bring us world peace.” he laughed and rolled her over on the bed. “God knows we need it.”

****************

****************

All the various heroes were on a military base in Germany, things at an uneasy standstill with whatever was out there threatening their world.

Most were milling around the open area outside the base command center when they heard it.

“What was that?” Someone--Starlord?-- looked up. “Gammy did you here--”

“If you call me Gammy one more time---” his green skinned teammate Gamora snapped. “ _Yes_ , I heard it. What is it?”

Natasha overheard the conversation, and of course the noise, and elbowed Clint, who whistled for Sam to come over.

The Doctor, the one who could bend reality and was generally regarded as...well... _strange_ by everyone else, was the first one to take a defensive stance, his hands raised to summon whatever magic he used to create his weapons.

Wanda was next until one by one, almost all the teams were ready to fight whatever was coming.

 _Whatever was coming_ zoomed over the base once, twice, before landing in their midst.

And not so much _landing_ , as slamming into the ground feet first at full speed, the brick and stone courtyard cracking beneath the impact.

“Oh my god.” Wandas hands flew to cover her mouth. “Oh my….”

“Oh no.” Natasha whispered, and as the dust settled, they all got a good look at the Iron Man suit, painted a fierce black and flashy gold, looking sleeker than ever, and ten times as dangerous with all his weapons out and ready.

“Stark?” Sam asked cautiously, and the suit straightened, the face plate opening. “Son of a--”

“You guys made it like six months without me. _Six months_ and the world is literally going to hell in a handbasket.” Tony snapped.

“Tony, you’re alive.” Clint looked stunned, shell shocked even, maybe even close to tears and Tony barely acknowledged him.

“Mr Iron Man! I mean Mr Stark!” StarLord jogged over, a huge grin on his face. “Oh my god, I can't tell you how awesome this is to meet you! I heard about your death a little late I guess, traveling the galaxy and all that but--”

“Who are you.” Tony interrupted and the other man skidded to a stop.

“Sorry. Peter Quill. Um, Star Lord if you want. In fact I would die if you called me Star Lord so--”

“Nice to meet you, Star Lord.” Tony said blandly and Peter Quill pumped his fist in the air.

“He called me Star Lord!”

“What's going on out here!” Steve's voice cut across the courtyard, silencing the quickly growing murmurs and speculation about Iron Mans sudden reappearance. “What the hell was---”

He stammered to a stop when he saw Tony.

“Tony.” he breathed and Tony just looked at him, his gaze flicking over his shoulder to where Bucky Barnes had followed Steve out. “ _Tony_ you're---”

“What's going on?” Bucky asked and rested his hand on Steve's shoulder.

And _man_ Tony was pissed to realize how much that hurt. Just that little gesture, a complete reminder of everything he had had..once.

“Tony.” Steve was still saying his name, and then he was moving towards him and Tony let the face plate slam shut, and Steve stopped instantly.

No words needed.

He was not welcome any closer.

“We thought you died.” Steve said and his voice sounded broken and _awful_ and Tony hated it. Hated how it still tore him up inside after all these months.

“Surprise.” was all he said, and it came out deep behind the mask. “Not dead. Here to save your asses.”

“Oh my god hes so cool.” Star Lord whispered behind him and Tony was glad the mask hid his smile.

“Welcome back.” Steve finally managed, and his eyes were so full that Tony almost relented, almost opened the suit completely so they could hug.

But then Bucky slid his hand down Steve's arm and linked their fingers together, and Steve turned back to him, soaking in the comfort.

So Tony kept the suit on, mask down.

He didn't want to be here. But he _had_ to be here. But that didnt mean he had to spend time with his former team.

So Tony let StarLord and his odd team show him around, talked and eventually even laughed with them, and when the tree known as Groot touched Tony's arc reactor and whispered “I am Groot.” Tony could hear the mourning in that deep voice clear as a bell. The _mourning_ and the welcome and the feeling of home coming from the tree that was quickly echoed by the rest of the aliens.

And he wasn't quite sure when the healing happened, but it was sometime after showing up in Germany, sometimesafter seeing Steve with Bucky and some time after watching the Avengers stare at him like they didn't know what to do with him.

It was sometime after Peter Quill fangirled out over him, and sometimes after the tree had discovered just how badly Tony was hurting. Sometime after General Ross had screamed himself blue over Tony faking his death, and _definitely_ after Thor had walked into the central command and simply picked Tony up and held him tight, tears pouring unabashedly down his cheeks because he was so happy to see him.

It was sometime after the Spider Man had showed up and had stared at him until Tony had relented and opened his arms for a hug.

And sometime before Peter Quill had kissed him.

It was a big deal, that first kiss. Right away.

Right as the world was ending, right as they were getting ready for what was sure to be a final, bloody showdown with this Titan known as Thanos, Tony had been in his suit, waiting for the call to action, and Peter had walked right up and tapped on the face place.

As soon as Tony had opened it, Star Lord had leaned in and kissed him _hard_.

“Make it through this, huh?” the man said with one of those funny smiles. “We need to do more of this sort of thing.”

“Sure.” Tony had grinned and shut his suit back up before blasting off into the air.

So actually, Tony knew _exactly_ when the healing had began.

It was that moment right then, when he decided to come home from this fight.

That moment right then, when he decided to not just...give up.

That moment right then, sometime after arriving in Germany, and sometime before going head to head with a villain---

The moment Tony decided not to die.


End file.
